How This Place Became Our Home
by KeepSaying
Summary: It took a long time to make this place their home. Some insights in how Jane and Kurt and their apartment became closer over the months. And what happened when Jane left. One- Shot.


**A/N** : So much fluff and I still managed to make myself sad in the end. I think the fluff made it worse. Oops. Enjoy :)

It took time, making his apartment their apartment and then making their apartment their home. It took so many small moments and big gestures to make this place their safe haven. It took dedication and arguments. But most of all it took love. They put all their love for each other in this home they made for themselves.

* * *

"I could get used to this" Jane grinned sleepily lounging on the counter watching Kurt move around in the kitchen preparing their breakfast wearing only his boxer shorts.

It was the morning after the Sandstorm take down and their very first morning waking up together. Jane couldn't remember ever having slept better in her entire life and she doubted that had much to do with the memory loss but rather with the fact that it was simply not possible for her to have ever experienced this bliss before.

The first time she had woken up that morning, it had to have been around 5:30 am because that was the time she always got up at for work, she had felt strong arms around her small form hugging her from behind. With a smile she had taken his hands in hers softly pressing a kiss to each one hearing him sigh happily in his sleep. When he hadn't woken up she had loosened his hold on her a little bit just so that she was able to turn around in his arms, looking up at this sleeping form. For a moment she had simply enjoyed laying there, watching him hold her his face completely peaceful with a small smile on his lips. Then she had nestled up to him again, her head next to his chest, feeling his heartbeat and breathing in his scent and went back to sleep.

The next time she had woken up she had felt his big strong hands moving up and down her spine ever so lightly and she hadn't wanted to move, simply enjoying the touch. But somehow he had noticed that she was awake and had pressed a kiss to the top of her head which she had buried into his chest. "Don't worry I won't bite" he had whispered "But I might kiss you if you give me the chance." That had won the fight and she did move a little further away from him only to have his lips crush hers and they hadn't made it out of bed for a while after that.

Now it was almost 10am and they still didn't have breakfast because they had all day to do whatever they wanted and what better way to start into your first day off in a year than having breakfast with the person you loved?

Following a sudden urge Jane got up and walked around the counter, up to Kurt who stood in front of the stove watching the pancakes he was making and hugged him from behind. "I love you" she whispered pressing light kisses to his shoulder.

Turning around he grinned at her " _I_ could get used to _this_ " he smiled brightly "And I love you too" he then added earnestly wrapping his arms around her – only wrapped in one of his FBI shirts – holding on to her tightly. "I am _never ever_ going to let you go _ever_ again."

" _Never ever ever_?" she repeated laughing into his chest because once more her head was buried in his huge form.

"Yes. And not even after that" he affirmed pulling her even closer to him.

"One day you're going to crush me" Jane gave into consideration but snuggled into him a little bit more nonetheless.

He seemed to think about that for a moment but then shook his head. "No, I think you're pretty invincible. Come to think of it if you'd just move in here I wouldn't have to be scared of burglars anymore."

" _You_ are scared of burglars?"

"Only if that makes you consider moving in with me."

She pulled away from him slightly but stayed inside the circle of his arms her gaze softening as she saw the hopeful spark in his eyes "Kurt-" she began not quite sure what she even wanted to say or how she felt about that matter.

"I know. I know. It's too early. We've only been together since yesterday and-"

"So we're together?" she interrupted him.

"Well-" he simply stared at her "I thought… But if you don't-"

"Of course I do! I just-" she looked at the floor blushing slightly "I just didn't think you'd wanna put a label on this" she gestured in the general direction of their embrace "So soon."

Kurt watched her avoid his eyes for a moment "Jane, look at me" he whispered putting a finger under her chin gently forcing her to meet his gaze "Remember that time when I told you was too choosy?" She nodded feeling lightheaded and sick to her stomach, not able to say anything "And I am. But I found someone who meets all the criteria I didn't even know I had and I sure as hell am going to let her get away." He pecked her lips finally seeing the smile return to them.

"I love you, Jane. I think I've loved you for a quite a while now and I want to be able to call you my girlfriend. I want everyone to be jealous of my wonderful beautiful kickass woman because they can never have her because she's _mine_ " he pulled her just a little bit closer to him again "And I want you to move in with me if you feel like you're ready for it. It's all up to you but I want you to know that whenever you're ready you're always welcome."

She felt tears well up in her eyes "I want to be your girlfriend" she said softly "And I am all yours because you are the only person I want or will ever want. But I'm not sure I'm ready to move in with you yet. I'm scared." She broke off trying to keep her emotions in check resting her forehead on his chest "I'm scared that this is all some sort of dream and that I will wake up from it eventually. I want to take this slowly so we can both get used to this idea of us. I don't want to rush. I just want to stay right here with you."

He chuckled lightly pressing a kiss to her temple, "That's completely fine by me but just let me turn off the stove then, would you?"

Feeling a little lighter now after their talk "Or you could finish making my pancakes, feed me and then we'll stay in bed for the rest of the day?"

"That sounds even better, my love" he grinned and picked her up from the floor only to carry his squealing girlfriend around the counter and put her back on this stool she had been sitting on before. "Now you stay over here and watch because otherwise there won't be any pancakes, understood?"

Jane nodded stealing a last chaste kiss. "But hurry!"

"Aye aye ma'am."

* * *

It had taken three weeks for Jane to admit defeat and officially move in with him. But she hadn't spent two consecutive days in her safe house at least two weeks before that. It had simply always seemed to fit better into their plans to go back to his place together and the only time she visited her safe house was to get new clothes. Kurt had let it happen knowing exactly where this was leading and that she was completely oblivious to it. So it had been Tasha who had asked her if she wanted help with the actual move.

* * *

"What do you mean?"

Tasha shot her a pointed look "I meant what I said. I'm a pretty good moving helper. Especially for people with as little stuff as you've got because that usually means that we can start drinking earlier" she grinned at her flabbergasted friend.

"We haven't moved in together yet" Jane denied shaking her head and concentrating on her computer screen once more.

"Oh _please_ " the Latina crossed her arms in front of her chest "I am not stupid. When was the last time you've been to your safe house?"

"Yesterday" Jane shot back smugly.

"And when was the last time you _slept_ there?"

"Um-"

"Yeah. That's what I thought!"

"It just never seemed very practically!" Jane defended herself "We've been working pretty late the last few weeks on all this paperwork and after dinner to drive back to my place is not really logical, is it?"

Tasha agreed with her on that. "But neither is not admitting that you want to move in with him. Because right now you're occupying a safe house that could be used for someone else in the meantime if you don't need it anymore."

"I suppose so but-"

The brunette sighed and plopped down on the seat next to Jane's working station. "You're scared. I get it, believe me I do. But what the two of you have" she smiled encouragingly "That won't just disappear. You've both been through so much. Separately _and_ together. I don't think looking into the bull's eye and saying that you want to be happy, _together,_ would be tempting fate. You deserve it. You've earned it."

"I guess maybe I'm scared he'll grow tired of me?" Jane admitted in a low voice "We see each other at work, usually we have lunch together if we don't actually work together, then we drive home together and then we spend our evenings and mornings together. I love it, I do" she smiled sadly "But what if, after some time, _he_ doesn't love it- me anymore."

" _Dios!_ Woman!" Tasha groaned in frustration leaning back into the office chair and glaring at her friend "You don't get it, do you?" It was a rhetorical question, yes, but Jane's stunned expression made her wanna hug the woman. She didn't do it of course. She had a reputation to uphold.

"Weller is head over heels in love with you" she exhaled "And there is nothing. I repeat _nothing_. That could ever change that. _Least_ of all spending too much time with you. I don't know if you've ever seen the heart eyes that the rest of us have to put up with. Remember that time when you came in a little late because we went out for drinks the night before and you overslept?"

"Yes. What about it?"

"Well, there was this time of almost an hour when _we_ were already into work but _you_ weren't. And you didn't pick up your phone and he hadn't heard from you the night before so as logical and calm as we've all seen Weller he yelled at us poor hungover women and was on the verge of sending in a SWAT team when you finally called to tell him you overslept" she let out a deep breath "And you should've seen his face. It was as if the whole world had just started spinning again. And I don't think he let you out of his sight for the rest of the day."

He hadn't. Jane remembered being hugged really tightly when she had come into work which had done wonders for her throbbing headache and Kurt being extremely attentive throughout the whole day. And night, really. She felt the blush creep into her chest "I didn't know that."

"Oh what a surprise!" a very sarcastic Tasha exclaimed "When we all know that Weller is the _best_ at communicating his inner fears and worries."

"So you think I should what- ask him for a key?" Jane asked in exasperation "Shouldn't he ask me if I wanted to move in?"

"I bet he already did, didn't he?" Tash raised an eyebrow and took the following silence as her answer "And now he's trying to be a gentleman to not push you. When did he ask?"

"The day after we brought down Sandstorm..?" Jane replied almost sounding timid.

"He- Wow- Okay! Not even I expected that. What a big softie!" Tasha laughed out loud punching the other woman in the shoulder. "That poor boy. Now get out of your chair, go to his office, confess your undying love for him and ask for the key that I'm certain he's already carrying around with him for two weeks waiting for this exact moment."

When Jane didn't immediately comply she pushed her from the chair and in the right direction muttering something that sounded conspicuously like "Freaking idiots. All of them." And off Jane went.

* * *

Sure enough Kurt had had that second key in his pocket after he had it made a few days after he had asked her to move in with him for the first time. The face he had made when she had come into his office had been one of confusion first, which changed into pure happiness and joy when understanding slowly dawned on him.

They had gotten all of her stuff from the safe house on that very evening, simply taking a detour from work to put it all in the trunk of his care. It wasn't much. And it wasn't anything other than clothes, a box of cereals and some dumbbells and an exercise mat she had bought for her morning workouts. She had no real personal belongings that would actually mark this apartment to be hers as well. No pictures, fluffy pillows or books she could put next to his stuff.

So the first time she actually bought something for the apartment it felt weird and she talked it over in her head at least a thousand times before she actually bought it. (Patterson still had to push her, though.)

* * *

"Jane? You still with me?"

Her blond friend stood in front of her holding up two different ceramic cups for her to rate.

"So this one is the perfect size. _A must for every coffee junkie_ they even say on the package. But this one" she held up the other one "Has the best grip to it. Seriously take it into your hands" she practically forced the cup into Jane's hands who wasn't quite sure what she was supposed to do with them. "Go for it! Hold it as if you're drinking a coffee!"

She did and had to agree with her friend "It's really handy. Doesn't slip out of your fingers that easily."

"I know, right?!" Patterson took the cup back from her "You can even hold it in just one hand comfortably. It's the perfect Sunday- Crossword- solving cup!"

"Then why don't you just take it?" Jane replied eyeing the other, bigger, one that Patterson seemed to still be considering "It's prettier than that one as well. And I mean you can always pour yourself another cup, right?" It didn't seem to be rocket science but since she never understood any of this stuff she simply rolled with what she was given by her friends. Which on some days was exactly _this_.

"You're right. They'll be the perfect addition to the rest of my table ware" she put it into their cart thoughtfully "But how many should I take? To complete replace the other one I'd need six… But I only broke two of them so I still have four cups. And I don't need 10 cups, do I?"

"Can't you just give those four away if you want to have all of the same ones so badly?" Jane asked. "There has to be someone who likes them. I mean they're really pretty."

"Do _you_ want them?"

"No, thanks" Jane laughed "Weller has like this whole cupboard full of cups and glasses and thousand different kinds of glasses so I think we're all set."

Patterson stood in front of the shelf for another minute, just thinking about it, and then finally seemed to decide on taking 6 cups with her and do whoknowswhat with the other four she still had at home.

They continued wandering through the market looking for other stuff Patterson might need for her flat and were simply being silly about all the stuff they saw when the blonde stopped in front of a huge pile of pillows.

"Oh look at this! They are beautiful! And on sale!"

Jane had to agree. She had instantly taken a liking to a dark green pillow with some abstract black picture on it. She picked it up and immediately melted against the softness, pressing it to her cheek and enjoying the feel.

"Can I ask you something?" Patterson wanted to know out of the blue and when Jane opened her eyes she found her friend watching her intently.

"You always talk about Weller's apartment and Weller's stuff… And I know- this might not be my place to say this- but isn't it _your_ place as well? Have you ever bought anything that you liked for your apartment?"

Jane frowned "Why would I? He already has everything for a functioning household? What good would it do if I bought more of the stuff he already has?"

"You're supposed to make this place your own!" Patterson exclaimed "I know Weller would want you to buy anything you like even if that means maybe giving something else away. He wants you to feel at home their and not just like someone who's visiting him."

Jane looked back at the pillow squishing it between her hands and thinking about what the blonde had said. Did she feel like a guest in his apartment? Not really… She lived there after all and she spent her free evenings on that couch or helped him in the kitchen – as good as she could anyway – moving around it with the ease of someone who knew where everything was. But maybe it would be nice to leave her mark there? For everyone to see? For her to remind herself she belonged there?

"I think you should buy that pillow."

Jane blinked up at the other woman "What? No. We don't need any more pillows."

"Well, first of, no one ever really _needs_ pillows but there's always room for them" she ticked of one finger "And second of all, if I'm not completely on the off here, the last time he changed those pillows was when Sarah moved in with him because knowing _him_ he probably didn't have any pillows at all before that" She shrugged lightly "I mean I like them enough, I guess, but they don't just scream ' _comfy'_ at you which is the one thing every pillow should, to be quite honest. This one, on the other hand" she took the green pillow from Jane, "This one's fluffy and cuddly and a little _Jane-ly."_ She grinned up at her "Trust me. Weller will be thrilled if you come back home with this."

* * *

 _Of course_ Patterson had been right on the money with her assumption. He had been beyond happy when she had brought something home for their apartment simply because she liked it. It was integrated into the couch design immediately, always standing out a little but the more they lived their life around it the more it simply became a part of their apartment. Just like Jane did.

Whenever he came home from work late he would find her on the couch with this pillow. Either resting her head on it, reading something, or hugging it to herself when she was watching TV. And more often than not when she didn't have control over the pillow he would snatch it from the couch putting it on his stomach when he was reading a book only for Jane to rest her head on the pillow after a little while and falling asleep on him.

After about 7 months they even managed to finally hang up some pictures in the apartment, something Tasha and Patterson had been nagging about for a while now.

* * *

She squealed in delight as she held up a _very_ old _very_ cute picture of a _very_ young Kurt Weller holding an ice cream cone in each hand grinning up innocently at the camera with a chocolate smeared mouth.

"I want to put up this picture!" she exclaimed and found him laughing at her after getting a quick glance of said image.

"No. Way. Not as long as there's the faint possibility that someone will come visit us."

"You're a party pooper" she shot back rolling her eyes at him and putting the picture on one of the piles next to her after a last glance.

"Which category did you just put that in?" he wanted to know, leaning over her shoulder, not quite understanding her system yet.

She turned her head to the side kissing him on the cheek just for the sake of it and then pointed to the stack she had just sorted the picture into. "Well, this one, is for all the amazing pictures you won't let me put up but I still want to keep. For leverage, of course" she grinned at him.

"And this one" she pointed to the next one "Is for pictures that I liked and still have the hope of convincing you."

"This is for everything we both agreed to hang up and the last one is for everything that definitely won't be hung up in our apartment" she laughed mischievously "Including that picture of you cooking naked. Even though I still cherish that memory."

She felt his arms sneak around her waist from behind and pulling her to the side, letting both of them stumble over to the other side of the bed in an awkward bundle of limbs. "Of course you do" he chuckled tickling her sides and not letting her wiggle out of his grip "What _I_ liked most about that memory was the person standing on the other side of the camera. I'm not sure if I remember correctly but I _think_ she was completely naked and had horrible bed hair."

"Hey!" she exclaimed punching his arm "I do not have terrible bed hair. You think it's cute when I look all messed up" she shot back smugly.

"Only if I do the messing up" he grinned messing up her hair in a swift motion before letting go of her and holding up another picture. This one of her looking at the camera in complete shock after he had snuck up on her. "Why is that one on the never to be hung up pile?" he wanted to know with a frown "I love that one."

She furrowed her brows at him grabbing the picture "That is on the never to be hung up pile because it's awful. It's way too close, you could literally see every little pimple on my face."

"You don't have pimples" he observed.

"But you could still see them! No one takes pictures that close. _I_ shouldn't have to teach _you_ that. You're the one who's supposed to remember all social norms!"

"Women" he muttered under his breath taking that picture out of her grasp again and putting it on his nightstand. "I'll put it into a frame only for me to see. And there's nothing you can do to stop me. Not even with that pretty pout" he said kissing said pout.

"Okay, let's go over the rest. I want to get this done and all hung up before this weekend is over."

* * *

Sure enough by Sunday afternoon they had hung up all their newly chosen pictures all around the apartment and Kurt had even managed to snatch a frame for the close- up of Jane's face without having to put up too big of a fight. He suspected that she secretly founded it cute that he couldn't find a single flaw in the image even though she kept pointing them out.

With Kurt's arm wrapped loosely around Jane's waist they stood in the middle of their living room looking around and enjoying this feeling of home they had there in that moment.

Over the next year coming home had become so naturally that after a long trip back from their honeymoon Jane was already looking forward to it.

* * *

She yawned for what felt like the hundreds time in the last few minutes alone and looked over to Kurt who was staring straight ahead, seemingly not even blinking, but looked tired as well. They had been driving since the early morning and it was now close to 8pm so they had been on the road for almost 12 hours. Obviously they had taken turns driving and had stopped to take breaks to eat and shake out their legs but it had still been a long day.

Jane looked over her husband appreciatingly. _Husband_. She still had that giddy school girl feeling in her stomach when she thought about him as that. Her husband. And she was his wife. It sounded like a fairytale come true. Their honeymoon had actually _been_ a fairytale come true. They had spent some of their time outside doing activities such as hiking or climbing or paddling but most of their time they had simply stared into each other's eyes, making love and lounging in their honeymoon suite.

Her eyes moved over his form, analyzing his tired but relaxed and healthy looking features, smiling at the stubble that was slightly longer than he normally kept it. She looked over his crinkled shirt - showing her once again how long they had been in this car for already - before her eyes wandered over his muscular arms to his hand and stopped at the gold wedding band that graced his hand now.

She couldn't get over how perfectly it fit him and when she looked at her own hand her smile only grew wider. They belonged to each other. And they fit each other perfectly.

"You okay? You're so quiet." Kurt asked from the driver's seat casting a quick glance to the side before he turned his eyes back to the street. "We should be home in a little while. We're already close to the city center."

Home. She smiled again grabbing his left hand with hers and giving it a squeeze. "I'm really looking forward to going home" she admitted "I mean I loved our honeymoon. But home is-"

" _Home is home_ " he agreed squeezing her hand back.

* * *

And for the better part of the two years after they took down Sandstorm _Home_ for them was with each other. It had taken them so long to build up their home. So many months spent on making everything simply perfect for both of them.

It took only one day for it all to come crumbling down.

One afternoon in which Jane wasn't sitting on the couch with her favorite pillow on her lap. One evening of Kurt frantically calling anyone and everyone who might have an idea on the whereabouts of his wife and on night in which he realized that she was, indeed, gone.

All the things he had loved about their home so much now cause him the most pain. Looking at all the pictures on the walls, completed just a few months earlier with their wedding picture, twisted the knife that her absence had left in him even deeper.

The warm pillow that still smelled like her shampoo and very own Jane- scent only magnified the Jane- shaped hole in his heart. Her scent seemed to be everywhere. On this handles of the doors, on her toiletries in the bathroom, in all the towels in their house and on their bedsheets.

The key he had given her so long ago lay neatly on the note she left on his nightstand, next to her wedding band and next to the picture of her he loved so much.

He realized it then. The emptiness he had known so well before she had come into his life was back. This home felt empty. It _was_ empty without her.

Their home had gone back to being just his apartment.


End file.
